“If you are struggling with not seeing “the plan” in your season, you are not alone. If you are angry and frustrated that it seems like silence is the only answer God is providing, you are not alone. I share my story to encourage you and remind myself of God’s amazing grace. ”
Wow! Prepare to feel known and encouraged by reading this post from adoptive mother, Elizabeth Stephens. For me personally, her words felt anointed and ever so timely during my own current season of life.
At Children of the World, we have a saying (you might have heard it before ….) “Man plans, God laughs”. Now, this sentiment is never meant to downplay the hurt, confusion, and disappointment we feel when our plans go awry. And we certainly don’t believe our Loving Father would ever “laugh” at our disappointments or pain. But, it is a reminder that surrendering to the Lord’s plans requires tremendous patience, faith, and restraint (from trying to take back control again). It’s a choice.
Read below to find out how Elizabeth chose joy and trust as her vessels to navigate God’s great plan for she and her daughter.
-MaryBeth Rouse, COTW staff member
For those that need a little hope today….
A Dress, A Cake and Poorly Prepared Indian Food
I have a great love. Day Planners! The joy and organization of its crisp new pages never fail to put a huge smile on my face.
This is why Proverbs 19:10 has always been one of those “difficult” passages in the Bible for me.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
I officially started my adoption journey on August 8th, 2018. Mother and I drove to Fairhope, AL with a bundle of nerves and met with the wonderful team at Children of the World Adoption Agency. The first of SO much paperwork was submitted on this date. After we left the adoption agency office building, my mother and I sat in the parking lot of Target and spoke aloud, “This is the plan!” We both felt such a sense of excitement, peace and purpose.
I wish I could tell you I kept that same level of certainty through the next 980 day marathon, but I struggled with “the plan” a LOT.
Over the following year, there were multiple times that my adoption journey came to a complete halt. Sometimes the delays I experienced were within my control and other times it was seemingly out of everyone’s control. I was tested emotionally, financially, physically and most importantly spiritually.
As the one year anniversary of my adoption journey approached, my devotional journal led me to the passage Ecclesiastes 3:4.
“a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
“ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
I honestly had little hope that my adoption journey would come to fruition after this first year of waiting, but I decided on August 8, 2019 I was going to celebrate! I had made it a year! I was still fighting a sense of dread and uncertainty regarding the future, but chose to make it “a time to dance.”
I made a tiered strawberry cake in honor of the little girl I prayed for daily.
I went to a local children’s store and bought a beautiful white dress with seed pearls and embroidered rosettes. I had no idea what size to buy, but picked up an 18 month. It was the first item I had allowed myself to buy for this little girl that was still a dream. I had the store gift wrap the dress so I would not be able to see it in the closet.
“I was still fighting a sense of dread and uncertainty regarding the future, but chose to make it “a time to dance.””
I scrolled through Pinterest and found two Indian dishes to make for this celebration. I had never attempted an Indian dish. I think I used every spice in my kitchen that evening. I had a GREAT deal more respect for Indian cuisine after this culinary adventure.
At the end of the day, I prayed. I prayed that the Lord would take away my doubt. I prayed for wisdom and I prayed for my future little girl and her birth mom. I ended by singing a prayer of thanksgiving that God had brought me this far on the journey.
I honestly had little hope that my adoption journey would come to fruition after this first year of waiting, but I decided on August 8, 2019 I was going to celebrate! I had made it a year!
Fast-forward 7 months and one unsuccessful match later, I received “the call.” Everyone that has been a part of an adoption story waits for this precious moment. “Elizabeth, I have a folder that I want you to review.” She was 7 months old and had been born on August 8, 2019.
Over the next few weeks I followed the protocols surrounding the acceptance of a match, but I knew without a doubt she was my match. She had been celebrated with a dress, a cake and poorly prepared Indian food on the day of her birth.
It took another 14 months, time that included a worldwide pandemic, before we were united. My 21 month old fit perfectly into her white seed pearl and embroidered rosette dress the day she was introduced to her church family in Mobile, AL. Almost like it had been planned.
I do not subscribe to the theory that God planned for my precious baby to be mine and not her birthmothers. Circumstances that are my daughter’s private story created an opportunity for God to connect our paths. I hope that she always sees her birthday as a “time to dance.” That she finds joy that her mother and birthmother are forever bonded since we both spent this date anticipating her arrival. That she finds peace in knowing God was watching over her path and my path by providing us both with such tangible evidence.
I still love my day planner. (I mean how do you think I was able to keep track of all of these important dates?) However, mine and my daughter’s journey has given me a new perspective regarding the Lord’s plans.
If you are struggling with not seeing “the plan” in your season, you are not alone. If you are angry and frustrated that it seems like silence is the only answer God is providing, you are not alone. I share my story to encourage you and remind myself of God’s amazing grace. I ,nor my daughter, are unique, God is working in all of our lives.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Written by COTW Adoptive Mother and beautiful soul, Elizabeth Stephens. Elizabeth graciously allowed us to share her recent Facebook Post with our COTW family as a guest blog author.
If you would like to provide wisdom and hope to those in the adoption community by sharing a personal story, please email marybeth@childrenoftheworld.com for more information.
We would love to continue witnessing the blessings these stories can bring.
